Dominican Doppublic

The day after tomorrow, I will be leaving for my vacation in the Dominican Republic. Before you become outraged at the abandonment of my post for a week of sun and alcohol, and begin desperately gibbering about who will save you from the doppelgängers while I tan, pleasure read, ride horses on the beach, engage in non-motorized water sports and eat and drink as much as I want as per the all-inclusive package I have purchased, please be calm. No matter what else I am doing, I am ALWAYS on the lookout for doppelgängers. Don't you think they exist in other countries?? And with the high rate of emigration from the Dominican Republic to the U.S., your Dominican Doppelgänger could be preparing to move here as we speak!! Think about it: you are pale, run down, disgusted and depressed from the long, cold winter. Your muscles are atrophied from months of hiding under blankets. You are in a weakened state that your doppelgänger is just waiting to prey on! If he or she has been living in the Dominican Republic all this time, growing strong playing baseball in the life-giving rays of sunshine and bathing in the warm, calm waters of the Caribbean, you are at a major disadvantage and in much danger!!!!

That is why I am going on this trip. Relaxation? Yes. But also, reconnaissance. In my absence, I urge you all to be vigilant, but rest assured: I will find these doppelgängers and expose them before they can come to our country and hunt you down. My powers of observation will be at their sharpest with no work or school to distract me. For example, I was reading the Wikipedia page about the Dominican Republic during my pre-trip research and I noticed a very important clue: their currency, the Dominican Peso, is abbreviated "DOP".