Christmas music

If you know me at all, you probably know that I pretty much loathe Christmas music. Most of the hatred comes from it being played at inappropriate times. Appropriate times for Christmas music are Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I would also allow for intermittent radio play in the week preceding the holidays. But the month-long "nothing but Christmas music" policy of the radio station in my daily lunch place drove me to the edge this year, prompting me to write the following irate letter to 106.7 Lite fm:

"I find it unconscionable that you have decided, once again, to program non-stop Christmas music for the entire month of December. The constant fake cheery garbage is unavoidable. Whatever small amount of joy one might take from the iota of our holiday social consciousness that has not been taken over by sheer commercialism is destroyed by the torture of Christmas music bombardment. This is insanity. Whoever is in charge of programming should be jailed."

All that being said, there are a few really egregious examples of Christmas music that, perhaps because of their total intolerability to almost anyone else, I thoroughly enjoy.

1. "Do They Know It's Christmas" by Band Aid.

Band Aid was a British and Irish charity supergroup, founded in 1984 by Bob Geldof and Midge Ure in order to raise money for famine relief in Ethiopia by releasing the record "Do They Know It's Christmas?" for the Christmas market. It was kind of like the British version of "We Are the World," which I am also obsessed with but that's a story for another day.



The most ridiculous thing about this song is the question posed by the title. Do they know it's Christmas? No, the starving people in Ethiopia probably do not know or care that it is Christmas. In fact, they wouldn't even know what the hell Christmas is if we hadn't taken it upon ourselves to spread the one true faith to their godforsaken corner of the earth.

The second most ridiculous thing about this song is a tie between Bono's haircut and having both Boy George and George Michael in the same room.

2. "Last Christmas" by Wham

This is the hands-down winner of "Gayest Christmas Song Ever Written." I couldn't love it more.



3. "Don't Shoot Me Santa" by the Killers

This is a new addition that I was introduced to by Rob. It's just insane.



4. "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)" by Phil Spector (the U2 version)

This song has been covered by a lot of people other than U2, including Jon Bon Jovi, Mariah Carey, Dion, and Joey Ramone. I don't really know anyone who doesn't like it. It's my favorite!





Merry Christmas, everyone.