The Jon-aquin.

My neighbor Jonathan clued me in to something the other day. He didn't even know of the existence of this blog at the time, but after he told me what I am about to share with you, I assured him that it was profoundly important that he immediately e-mail me photos so I could expose this new doppelgänger trick to the public. Please be warned, what you are about to see has me at a level of terror heretofore unexperienced in my short but eventful time in my service to the cause of Doppelmänia.

Here is Jonathan and his Jon-aquin:



Assessing how absolutely terrifyingly much it looks like him:



Tricking the Jon-aquin into thinking he loves it instead of fearing and loathing it:



You can see the malice in its stare:



So there it is. It's a whole new level now. They are toying with us. I don't know what the plan is here, or what's next, but I urge everyone to inspect every mannequin they come upon, to scan every single store window display for doppelqüins of people they know. We must be prepared for whatever they decide to spring on us next.